Whirlwind

So as the title indicates, my life has been a hot, fabulous mess lately.  Sunday afternoon at around one, I was smoking a bowl with my friend Violencia.  I thought to myself, How did I end up getting high outside a warehouse at a photo shoot with drag queens?

Well to answer that question, let’s start with my friend Tony, who I met through a mutual friend at a gay club.  He is a pretty cool photographer.  His most recent shoot happened this Sunday. He did like seven different spreads in one day- I was amazed!

I guess we’re going to Tarantino this.

Last Saturday, I brought my hot friend Brian out to the club with me.  All the guys and queens immediately ate him up.  Tony told him he should consider modeling and invited him to the shoot.  Brian, having a healthy ego, accepted.  Tony invited me too because I’m Edie Sedgwick or Lady Gaga or something.  (My explanation- not his.) I, apparently, have an unhealthy ego.

Later that night, we ended up at Tony’s friend Mandy’s house for an after party.  We got super drunk and shit got weird- a good weird.  Lady Gaga was blasting, and shots of some kind of tequila were flowing.  Brian and I danced in our underwear.  In Brian’s case, Mandy’s underwear. (The one downside of going commando.) I recall Shawn, Tony’s boyfriend, taking off my pants sort of against my will.  He staunchly denies this.  Sort of.

I've been in serious need of letting loose lately though because my job at the school has been ridiculous.  One day, within a half-hour period two different students were in a three-person restraint.  What?

At gym last Monday, one of my students- let’s call him Tommy- was having a fit because he wasn’t getting his way.  He started throwing scooter boards.  (Yes, those sweet yellow ones that you sit on and have adventures with!) I was sick of him thinking he can get away with whatever he wants.  I went over, slammed my hand down on the remaining pile, and told him to stop.  I remember thinking, Wow what has my life come to when I’m like, “Yup, pretty sure this 10-year old autistic kid is going to punch me in the face”?  Luckily, the gym teacher came over and helped me out.  Crisis averted.

Needless to say, my kids are ridiculous.  Psychotic almost.  Well not literally, but to the outside observer, they might sometimes appear that way.  And sometimes to the inside observer as well.

A fun night out is just what I needed.  And continue to need.  Friday was another fun one for me.  I went to see my friend Krissy’s play and brought the boy I’m dating.  We dated during college too.  I’m comfortable with him so it’s kind of great.

Anyway, a part that I’m not comfortable with is that I’m also friends with his roommates.  Well normally, that part is awesome.  But then there’s the awkward.  I’m loud.  I can’t handle one of them overhearing and never looking at me the same way again.  I try to stifle myself pretty unsuccessfully.  I tried to make the pitch lower so the sound wasn’t so piercing.  It just ended up sounding fucking weird.  I couldn’t help thinking that I sounded like a kid with Tourette syndrome.  Again, what is my life?

A couple weekends before that Brian came to see me in Boston while I was visiting my other friend Brian.  Brian that I’m not dating took me to see this show at midnight after Brian I am dating left.  It was called “Naked Girls Reading.”  Yeah, you would think I would have more to say on that topic.  It was literally just naked girls reading.  Short stories.  Sometimes from a male perspective.  One of them was about a plumber in an era when he had to pull zombie parts out of drains.  Not erotic.   

Phew.  So there.  Hopefully, that explains why I haven’t written in a month.  I love when a title encompasses a motif so perfectly without being obnoxious.  At least I hope it wasn’t obnoxious.